


my, my, my!

by thekardemomme



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Flirting, Friendship/Love, Girls Kissing, Mystery, One Night Stands, Pining, Plot Twists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:57:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekardemomme/pseuds/thekardemomme
Summary: In the summer of 2017, Eva met the love of her life at a party. In the spring of 2018, she returns to Oslo to find her.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> love, lay me down under the grass &  
> sunlight, and touch me right here  
> and here and here, where the ache  
> & hurt have gone to nest.  
> now again my fingers will find  
> yours, tangle & sweeten the air,  
> and the birds will cry for  
> us alone.
> 
> [-expansions on sappho's fragments](http://avolitorial.tumblr.com/tagged/fragments)

Eva sighs, settling back into her chair in the terminal. Her flight to Oslo was due to leave any moment now, and Isak was  _ supposed _ to be picking her up once she lands, but he won’t pick up his fucking phone. She dials his number again, tapping her foot impatiently. It rings, and rings, and rings, until it rings out for the eighth time that morning. 

“He and Even better be fucking or something,” she mumbles, blushing when she hears the old lady next to her gasp, scandalized. She mutters a quick apology and then turns back to her phone, opening up a text conversation with Isak.

 

**Eva** (11:24am)

_ my flight leaves in less than 10 fucking minutes so either answer your phone or text me or something _

_ you better be at the airport :)  _

 

“Bad morning?” The lady asks, and Eva huffs out a laugh.

“You could call it that, yeah. My friend won’t pick up the phone, and he’s supposed to be picking me up in Oslo. I’m sure he’ll be there, just, you know, confirmation would be nice.”

The lady hums, closing her fashion magazine and marking the page with her finger. Eva’s always had the habit of dog-earing the pages of magazines, no matter how thick and glossy they are. It irritates her mum to no end. “What are you going to Oslo for?” She asks, sitting back and turning her body to face Eva, giving her full attention.

Eva purses her lips. What is she supposed to say to that?  _ Oh, I went to Oslo this past summer and my friend threw a party my last night there. I had sex with some girl, and all I can remember is how amazing it was, and I need to know who it was. I need to know who it was that made me realize I like girls. Why don’t I remember her? Funny story, really, I don’t know my limits when it comes to alcohol and end up black-out drunk way more often than I’d like to admit. I think the girl was pretty drunk, too, though. It was a messy night. _

She can’t just say that to this lady. She’s gotten one too many judgmental looks from her already. “Just…visiting some friends,” she says carefully, like she’s tiptoeing around the truth. The lady raises her eyebrows, and Eva shrugs. “I was in Oslo this past summer, and I met some pretty cool people. Just reconnecting with them, I guess.”

“I remember when I was your age,” the lady says, and Eva braces herself for the inevitable generation shaming. “I had my little group of friends that I did everything with. I wonder about them quite often. Haven’t heard from many of them in so many years that I’ve lost count. Life gets in the way; no matter how much you try to stop growing up, no matter how many times you beg time to slow down, the motherfucker just seems to go faster, and you get your wrinkles and grey hairs before you’re ready for it. That’s just how life goes, I suppose.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Eva agrees awkwardly. She glances at her phone to check the time, only to see an unread text from Isak sitting on her screen.

 

**Isak** (11:28am)

_ will b there _

 

The old lady seemingly picks up on Eva’s annoyance, because she chuckles quietly to herself and opens her magazine again. “Were they doing what you thought they were doing?” She asks, and Eva barely manages to mumble out a  _ yes _ before the lady is hiding her laughter behind the magazine. It sends Eva into her own fit of giggles, and they both nearly miss their call to board.

 

***

 

When she lands in Oslo, it’s 12:48pm and she can’t find Isak  _ anywhere _ . She stepped out of the gate and stood on her tiptoes and looked everywhere, but she can’t find him. “Probably still fucking,” she mutters, and it’s not even an insult, because if they really are still fucking, that’s some impressive stamina. She stops in her tracks and reaches for her purse, trying to dig her phone out of it.

There’s three unread texts, from Even.

 

**Even** (12:29pm)

_ We’re here! :D _

_ Waiting by your gate _

 

**Even** (12:55pm)

_ Look up _

 

Eva looks up, finding herself faced with two brightly smiling boys holding up a huge, probably handpainted sign that reads:  _ WELCOME TO OSLO EVA! _ There’s a bi pride flag in the upper left hand corner, and a bunch of hearts surrounding the other free whitespace.

She can’t stop the smile from spreading to herself as she crosses the space between them and throws herself into Isak’s arms, nearly knocking him over from the sheer force of it. “Issy, I’ve missed you so much!” She squeezes tighter when he does, burying her nose in his jacket, breathing in the distantly familiar and incredibly nostalgic scent of his cheap cologne. It almost smells good, she’s missed it that much. 

“And Even, of course! I’ve missed you a hell of a lot, too! Movie nights are just not the same without you,” she grins, shifting to throw her arms around his middle. Even’s hugs are like hugs from your greatest hug fantasy. Super warm, comfortable, he smells good, and he makes you feel safe. Eva understands why Isak is so clingy.

When they finally pull away, Even insists on taking Eva’s bag to the car. “How long did you say you were staying, again?” Even asks as they make their way out of the airport and towards the parking lot. “Isak has hardly told me anything other than he’s helping you with some elaborate mystery. My boy thinks he’s a proper Nancy Drew.”

“I do not!” Isak protests, which makes a fond smile cross Even’s face. Eva wants someone who looks at her like that, like she hung the moon and the stars. “I was just telling you that I’m helping her figure something out.”

“Just for a week. And yeah, the mystery Isak is talking about is what happened last time I was in Oslo. Remember that party we went to, my last night here? I ended up hooking up with a girl, as you know, and it helped me realize I was into girls like I was into boys. I don’t remember who the girl was, though, so that’s the objective of this week,” she explains.

“To find who you slept with?” Even asks, and Eva nods. They make it out of the airport, the cool early spring air hitting their skin. “That could be anyone.”

“The party wasn’t that big, Even. It was a farewell party for Eva, remember? It was mostly just our friends. Which means that she could’ve slept with Noora, Vilde, Sana, Chris,” Isak points out.

“Who do you think it is?” Eva asks.

Isak shrugs, “I’d put my money on Noora or Vilde. Probably Vilde.”

“Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Even smiles, stopping as they reach Even’s car. Eva climbs into the backseat while Isak gets in the passenger seat. Even climbs into the driver’s seat after he situates Eva’s traveling case in the trunk, starting the car and running the heat. Eva hadn’t even noticed she was cold until the heat was turned on.

“Do you remember  _ anything _ about the girl you slept with?” Isak asks, twisting in his seat to face her. Eva shakes her head. “Really? You can’t remember anything other than gender?”

“Well, to be fair, I was drunk and only thinking about one thing. And I only remember it was a girl because it’s the first time I’ve ever actually done something with a girl. It was the first time I’ve ever let myself think of a girl that way, really.”

“Okay, yeah, fair,” Isak sighs, sitting back in his seat. “Hey, Even, when did you realize you were pan?”

Even hums, like he’s thinking about it. “I always knew, I think. I always knew I liked boys, too. I never thought about hiding it until I was, like, high school age. But I guess my first real crush on a boy was the year before I started high school, so maybe then.” Eva watches him reach over to lace their fingers together. “What about you?”

“I always knew, too. But I suppressed it until I started seeing you,” he admits. Even kisses the back of his hand, and Eva has to look away. She feels like she’s intruding on a private moment, just seeing them act so soft. “I did end up in a gay bar when I was 16, though. Eskild found me there, drunk and refusing to go home. I don’t know if I’d count that as me realizing I’m gay.”

“Probably not.” Even looks up into the rearview mirror, making eye contact with Eva. “Are you hungry? We can stop somewhere to eat, if you are.”

“No, I’m okay. I just want to take a nap, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course,” Even replies immediately, and Eva smiles gratefully. “Isak and I will go out to dinner so you can sleep. And before you protest, Isak and I would’ve gone out anyway, because  _ someone _ forgot to go grocery shopping.”

Isak scoffs, “That someone was you. It was your week.”

“I know,” Even says brightly, “by someone I meant me.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot.”

Just listening to their banter makes Eva’s heart ache. She wants to have that, to feel the love they do. Maybe this trip to Oslo will be her chance. She has to shoot her shot somehow, right?

As soon as she’s left alone in Even and Isak’s apartment, she’s climbing into their guest bed and falling back against the pillows. Travelling, even if it wasn’t a long distance at all, takes a lot out of people. Another reason why Eva isn’t exactly the type to travel a lot. She pulls the duvet up to her chin and doesn’t open her eyes again for two and a half hours.

And the only reason she wakes up then is because of a loud, insistent knocking on the door. At first, she groans and tries to bury herself further into the sheets, hoping that whoever it is at the door will just give up and go away. 

Spoiler: they don’t.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, fuck,” she groans, practically rolling out of bed and then stomping her way to the door. She figures it’s probably Isak and Even and that they locked themselves out. She crosses the room and pulls the door open, an annoyed look crossing her face as she prepares to whine to Isak that he woke her up.

She snaps her mouth shut again when, instead of Isak, she’s faced with one of the most beautiful girls she’s ever seen in her life. The girl looks familiar, like maybe Eva’s seen her somewhere before, but she can’t imagine ever  _ forgetting _ a girl like this either. Eva swallows hard around her dry throat, suddenly self conscious about her unflattering sweatpants and lack of a bra under her stained t-shirt. This girl shows up dressed like the daughter of Sappho and Eva looks like she just rolled out of bed (which she did).

“Oh!” The girl squeaks, looking Eva over once before meeting her eyes and smiling. “Hi, nice to meet you! I’m Vilde.” She holds out her hand, which Eva shakes gently. “Sorry if I woke you, I was expecting Isak and Even to be home. It’s a bit of an emergency.”

“Isak and Even went out to eat a couple of hours ago, they’ll probably be home any minute,” Eva says, glancing over her shoulder to look at the time on the clock. “Um, is everything okay? I know we just met and all, but I can help if you need help with something.”

Vilde sighs, scuffing her shoe against the door frame. That’s when it occurs to Eva that she should invite Vilde in, so she steps back and waves the blonde in. “Thanks,” Vilde murmurs, stepping in and shrugging off her shoes, but not her jacket. “My cat got out again. I don’t live too far from here, so Even helps me whenever she gets out. She  _ adores _ him.”

“I can put on some clothes on really quick and try to get her to come inside? Just until Even gets home, at least,” Eva offers.

“Would you?” Vilde asks, and Eva reassures her that she absolutely wants to help. “Oh, thank you. I don’t know what I’d do if Dandelion got hypothermia or something!”

Eva smiles as she walks into the bedroom, grabbing some leggings and an oversized sweater to pull on. She also makes a valiant effort to get all of the tangles out of her hair, but she knows it would take all night to do all of it, so she just aims for slightly presentable. She pulls on some socks, and then hurries back out, like Vilde might leave if she’s kept waiting.

“You named your cat Dandelion?” Eva asks, only slightly out of breath.

“Yeah! She loves dandelions.” They make their way to the door, Eva slipping her feet into her shoes as Vilde does the same. “I hope Dandelion likes you as much as I do. Then she’s sure to come inside!” She pulls the door open and holds it for Eva to follow, smiling when she notices Eva’s smile.

She wonders if Vilde notices the blush, too.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but damn, Eva hopes its her.  
  



	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (part one)  
> my heart beats steadfast  
> for you, the girl with song in  
> her mouth, your thin hands  
> and wandering eyes. but me  
> you have forgotten, blinded  
> by distance & time, or you  
> love some man more than me.  
> [-expansions on sappho's fragments](http://avolitorial.tumblr.com/tagged/fragments)

“This is another thing I’ve missed about you, Even,” Eva sighs happily, watching as he places a plate of pancakes on the table. “Whoever taught you how to cook is a godsend. I have to go to restaurants to get food like this, and it’s not even half as good.”

“Stop trying to steal my boyfriend with your flattery,” Isak half-teases half-grumps, sipping his coffee. Eva just rolls her eyes and tops off her own cup of coffee, adding more creamer to it. Isak drinks his black, like he’s trying to be some badass. Eva notices the way he cringes slightly after every sip, though.

Even just laughs pleasantly--he’s always in such a good mood--and leans down to kiss Isak’s hair. “As if anyone could steal me from you. You’re stuck with me, babe.” He sits down in between Isak and Eva, piling food on his own plate. Eva takes that as the cue that she can eat, so she immediately starts piling the scrambled eggs on her plate. That’s one thing she’ll definitely never find a good match for in Bergen: Even Bech Næsheim style scrambled eggs.

“So Eva and I are going to Eskild’s,” Isak tells Even, smearing jam on a piece of toast. “We’ll probably be back before you’re done with class, so I’ll see you before you go to work. Unless she and Eskild get to talking or something.”

“How come you didn’t introduce me to any of them the last time I came to Oslo? This is such an awkward first meeting,” Eva whines, shoving a too-big bite of pancake in her mouth.

Even shrugs, “Well, it’ll definitely leave an impression.”

“I didn’t introduce you because you were here for three days and I was focused on just hanging out with you while you were here,” Isak explains. “Besides, you met the boys. Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus. You met Even, he’s my favorite of all my friends.”

“I’m telling Jonas,” Even says instantly, around a half-chewed mouthful.

“Over your own blue balls,” Isak retorts, and coffee nearly comes out of Eva’s nose as she collapses into laughter. “You’ll like Eskild,” Isak says to Eva, without missing a beat. “He’s surprisingly helpful when it comes to stuff like this, once you figure out what the hell he’s talking about.”

Eva nods, finishing off a piece of bacon. She’s sort of nervous, but her curiosity weighs that out. Her skin itches to feel smooth skin underneath it. She wants to smell blossomy perfume and taste rose petals, she wants to feel the lightning in her veins when they touch. She wants to wake up to soft lips and smooth hands and fingernails on her back. She wants so much that she’s only found once before, here, in Oslo. She needs to find that again.

After breakfast, Eva puts on the most presentable outfit she can. If she was going to be telling a group of strangers about her rendezvous with some girl at a party, she wanted to at least go in with some good judgments. Everyone judges upon looks first, she knows that. Maybe this will help her case, or something.

Eva knows she shouldn’t care what people think. And to an extent, she doesn’t. Her own self love means more than love coming from any other source, and she knows that. But she wants Isak’s friends to like her. She wants to be liked, and as a bonus, if the girl she slept with is there, she wants to be  _ loved _ . She deserves to be loved.

They take a tram to Eskild’s. Her and Isak split headphones on the way there, practically blasting Hayley Kiyoko. It didn’t matter how many times Isak denied it in front of his boys, Eva knew the truth, that he loves Hayley.

When they arrive, the first thing Eva sees is the pride sticker on the doorbell. It’s frayed and nearly peeling off, and it makes Eva smile, knowing that Isak once lived in a place so positive and warm and loving. Isak hardly even has to press the button before they’re being buzzed in, and Isak laughs when he realizes that Eskild had been waiting on them.

“Maybe now you’ll be his new baby gay,” he teases, and Eva gives him a confused look. “After I came out, he started calling me baby gay and calling himself my guru. He sort of was, but I’ll never tell  _ him _ that. His ego’s big enough already.” They make their way up the stairs two at a time, both seemingly eager to see what Eskild will have to say. 

“Baby Jesus!” Is the first thing they hear when they reach the floor, and Eva can practically feel Isak roll his eyes. “So lovely for you to  _ finally _ come by and see your father! After all we’ve done for you and you can’t even call every once in a while. We won’t be around forever, you know.”

“Shut up, Eskild, you’re so dramatic. And you’re not my father.” Despite the biting tone he’s using, he wraps Eskild up in a hug, and Eva’s heart warms at the sight. She knows some, probably not anywhere close to all, of what Eskild’s done for Isak and she loves him for that. 

Eskild pulls away, smiling over at Eva. “And my latest prodigy! I’m Eskild, nice to meet your a-gay-tance,” he says, in English, and Eva’s already endeared. She shakes his hand and says her name. “Come on in, I know Even probably made you a buffet breakfast, but what kind of guru would I be if I didn’t at least provide my guest with tea?”

“There’s two of us, Eskild,” Isak reminds him.

“Oh, please, you don’t count as a guest. You’re in the family.” He leads the way into the apartment, where Eva’s met with a table of three more beautiful women. “Eva, this is my daughter Noora, my daughter’s friend Sana, and my wife Linn.”

“We are not married,” Linn deadpans, stirring her tea. “Nice to meet you, Eva.”

Noora stands up, reaching out her hand for Eva. Sana does the same, repeating her name. Isak and Eva join them at the already crowded table, accepting the teacups that Eskild hands them. Eva takes a sip of hers if only to conceal the blush that’s steadily rising on her cheeks because damn, Isak could’ve at least warned her that he’s friends with goddesses. 

“So, Eva,” Eskild says, leaning against the counters because there isn’t enough space at the table for him to sit, “what’s your concerns? Questions? Comments? Observations? Criticisms? What’s the 411?”

“Um, well…” Eva fiddles with the string of the teabag, wrapping it around the tip of her finger until it throbs. “Last summer, when I came to Oslo, Isak brought me to a party. And I had a night with a girl, and it was the first time I’d ever...allowed myself to explore that side of me. Like, I always knew I liked boys, so that was enough for me. I didn’t need to examine the part of me that liked girls because I liked boys so I could marry a boy and everything would be fine. But after that night, it’s all I can think about. It opened the floodgates. And after a lot of self reflection, I realized that bisexual was the label I was most comfortable with. So now I… I want to know what girl I slept with.”

Eskild’s eyebrows furrow. “You don’t know who you slept with? What was her name, do you remember?”

Eva shakes her head, her cheeks heating more out of embarrassment now than anything else. But nobody’s gaze changes, no one seems to judge her. “I was really drunk, she was too. I don’t even remember what she looked like. I just remember the way she made me feel. I remember being around her all night, and she just..made me feel less afraid of the idea of liking girls, if it meant I got her. You know?” She blushes even harder, knowing she must be a bright scarlet. “Shit, I mean,  _ of course _ you know.”

Isak’s hand reaches over, and it takes Eva a moment to realize that he’s taking the string from around her finger because the tip was turning purple. If anyone else notices it, they don’t say anything. “Well, it’s great that you’ve accepted this part of yourself. It’s amazing and you should be really happy and proud of yourself,” Eskild says gently, and Eva smiles. She’s never had anyone say that to her, that she should be proud of accepting herself. All the other times she’s come out, it’s been all about others accepting her. She’d never thought about the importance of accepting herself. 

“Thank you, Eskild.”

“Of course. Now…” He grabs Isak’s elbow, pulling him out of his chair so he can sit next to Eva instead. “Tell me everything you remember, from arriving at the party until the time you woke up the next day. Anything you can remember.”

“Eskild,” Noora pipes up, and all eyes go to her. “You’re being really invasive. Why would she want to say all of that to a complete stranger that refers to himself as his roommates’ father?”

“It’s fine,” Eva insists, “I don’t mind.”

Eskild sticks his tongue out at Noora, who just gives him a glare right back. They fight almost like siblings, Eva notes. “See, Noora? She doesn’t think I’m being creepy and weird.” He turns back to Eva, elbows on his knees and hands under his chin. “So. Tell me  _ everything _ .”

So, she does. And as it turns out, everything she remembers isn’t much of anything at all. Her memory ends around the time she beat Even’s ass in beer pong, and up to that point, she hadn’t flirted with any girls that made her stomach light up with butterflies. And the next morning she remembers waking up alone, wearing only a t-shirt and panties in a stranger’s bed, with a killer hangover. 

For what it’s worth, Eskild tries his best. He asks questions about certain objects that were in the room, if there was anything that may have been left behind. He asks questions about nearly everything, but they still come up with nothing, and by the end of it, Eva’s beginning to wonder if this whole endeavor is just her deluding herself into thinking she’ll ever get a love story out of a meaningless one night stand. 

Just because it meant something to her doesn’t mean it meant anything to the girl. It was Eva’s first time with a girl, but it probably wasn’t theirs. Maybe she’s waiting for something that doesn’t exist. Searching something out that will never come to fruition. Honestly, who is she kidding? Flying out to Oslo to track down a one night stand from almost a year before? They probably don’t even remember her, and not because they were drunk.

She’s just about to give up, throw in the metaphorical towel, when Linn speaks up, still stirring her tea despite the cup being nearly empty. “Wait, Noora, didn’t you hook up with someone after that party?” She asks, and everyone in the room watches as pure, unadulterated panic takes over Noora’s features. Eva hates that she still looks pretty when she’s terrified, except she doesn’t actually hate it at all.

“Wait, what?!” Eskild exclaims, scooting his chair over closer to Noora. “Tell me everything! Who was it? Maybe they know something about Eva’s girl!”

“Noora! I told you it’d be Noora!” Isak cheers, laughing and clapping Eva on the back. Eva knows he’s joking, because she remembers him saying  _ probably Vilde _ ; but at the same time, she’s having the same thought. What if it is her?

Noora groans, slamming her hands on the table as she stands so everyone goes quiet. “Look, I don’t… I don’t remember who I slept with. I don’t even know if I slept with anyone, I always black out when I’m drunk. I know I woke up at home, fully clothed,” she explains, and Eskild visibly deflates.

“Well, there goes the excitement. Thanks a lot, Linn,” he sighs, gathering all the teacups from the table and taking them to the sink. Noora and Sana just glance at each other and roll their eyes before getting up and excusing themselves to Noora’s room.

“It was nice to meet you, Eva,” Noora says as she passes, putting a gentle hand on Eva’s shoulder. Eva’s skin tingles under the touch, smolders a little, but doesn’t ignite. “I hope you find your girl.”

Sana’s next, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Eskild’s great, he’s just a lot at once. You’ll get used to it the more you’re around him. It was a pleasure to meet the friend Isak’s been texting during all of our study sessions.” She winks at Eva when Isak scoffs, immediately beginning to protest. Eva laughs softly when Sana does, before telling her goodbye one last time as she disappears into a bedroom.

“We should get going, too,” Isak says, standing up. “We’re meeting Even after his class, and that should be over soon. I want to get some tidying done before he’s home. Thanks for everything, Eskild, as per usual.” He goes to hug Eskild again, only he seems exponentially less annoyed this time around.

Eva steps closer, pulling Eskild into a hug, too. “Yes, seriously, thank you for everything. You helped me so much. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Eskild murmurs. “Feel free to text or call me whenever, with any questions. And as long as you’re here, you’re welcome to come over at any time. You’re family, too.”

Eva’s heart warms as she hugs him again, thanking him profusely despite him saying that it was unnecessary. She leaves with a fuller heart than the one she’d arrived with, all warm and fuzzy on the inside, and a permanent grin stretched across her face. She doesn’t remember the last time she was this genuinely happy.

The walk to the tram is a quiet one, save for the music they start up again. Neither her nor Isak have very much to say. Eva wonders if he’s thinking about Eva and her mystery girl, or if he’s thinking about Even. The latter seems more likely, if she’s being honest. Isak is so head over heels for that boy that it’d be sickening if Eva didn’t love them both so much. It’s the type of love that you can’t help but be jealous of, but even when you’re jealous, there’s this weird underlying feeling of quiet happiness for them, because it’s like no one else exists when they’re together. It’s sweet.

For her part, though, she keeps thinking about Noora, and Noora’s reaction to Linn asking if she’d slept with someone. If someone  _ really _ hadn’t slept with anyone, they wouldn’t have flushed and been all panicked the way Noora was. She acted like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. To Eva, that meant only one thing. Noora was hiding something.

“So,” Isak says eventually, “Noora’s reaction to Linn’s question. I’m not the only one totally freaked out by that right?”

“Nope, not in the slightest,” she reassures, and Isak chuckles in disbelief.

“I’ve never seen her react to something like that in that manner. It was like… Like she’d been caught in a lie,” Isak says, and Eva nods. That’s pretty much exactly what she was thinking. “I guess the real question is: is it a lie or is it omission?”

Eva rolls her eyes. “Who cares? I just want to know the truth. The whole truth.” She glances out the window for a moment, scouring her brain for any more clues. She remembers the water by the bed that wasn’t hers, the eyelash curler that wasn't hers, and the bright red sock that had been on the door handle when she left. But none of that pointed to--

Wait.

She turns abruptly, eyes wide. “Isak. Does Noora always wear bright red lipstick like that?” She asks, and Isak cocks his head in confusion. “She was wearing red lipstick today. Like, bright red. Does she normally wear that?”

“I guess so?” Isak shrugs, looking down at his phone to switch the song from Hayley Kiyoko to Troye Sivan. “I don’t usually pay that much attention. She has a lot of lipsticks, though, I know that. Eskild’s always trying to steal her only Kylie Jenner lip kit.”

“Isak.”

“What?”

“The color red. I remember it.”

Isak snorts, rolling his eyes. “Wow, Eva, that’s impressive. With that kind of intelligence you might be able to pass kindergarten,” he teases, and Eva mocks his laugh for a solid 20 seconds before elaborating.

“No, Isak. I remember that red lipstick. I’ve seen it before.”


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (part two)  
> if there was ever a place where  
> i could have pressed you to  
> the ground, woven love between  
> our mouths, i would return to  
> there. still, your voice is stitched  
> through my poetry; a girl standing  
> in the falling light & singing  
> to no one in particular.  
> [-expansions on sappho's fragments](http://avolitorial.tumblr.com/tagged/fragments)

The scenes in movies where the teenage boy lays on his bed, throwing a baseball up and catching it absentmindedly, staring at the ceiling and wallowing in his own angst always seemed cliché to Eva. But this morning, while Isak and Even are in class and she’s left alone in their apartment, she realizes it’s really not. She’s been laying in bed for the past hour and a half, staring at the ceiling and thinking about how she’s never going to find love whether she finds her one night stand or not. All that’s missing is the baseball and the guarantee of a happy ending.

Part of her wants Vilde to come over, even if just to say that Dandelion got out again. The rest of her doesn’t want to be bothered. She wants to lay there and be sad and alone. Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting somebody in it.

It’s even worse when you don’t know _who_ you’re longing for. It’s a girl Eva met once and a girl Eva can’t even remember but she’s never wanted anybody more in her entire life.

She wonders if it’s just some way for her mind to cling onto something solid. Hanging onto the past and wishing for it to come back, just for the way it made her feel back then. Ignoring the fact that things change, that Eva probably wouldn’t even feel the same as she did last year around this girl. Last year it was new, exciting, taboo. Forbidden. What if it loses its luster now?

She only sits up when she hears the door creak open and then close again. Mere moments later, Even materializes in the doorway, a sympathetic look in his eyes. Eva offers him a pathetic smile in return.

“Isak won’t be home for another two or three hours, maybe more if he stops to get some food on his way home,” he says, and Eva nods. She and Isak were planning on going to a movie later, but she wasn’t banking on it. He’d probably be tired, and she understands. “We can go for lunch, or… brunch, or whatever. I’m sure being cooped up in our apartment all day isn’t much fun.”

Eva shrugs, “It’s better than your old apartment that had, like, two rooms.”

“True,” Even allows. “Still, though. We can go to KB? I have a discount.”

“Okay. Just let me get dressed and stuff.”

Even smiles. “Cool. I’ll go put up the dishes that I know Isak probably left on the counter to ‘dry’.”

Eva laughs a little as Even walks off. Another good thing about Even: he doesn’t try to comfort her. When he knows she’s sad, or not feeling well, he allows her to feel that way. Knows that she has to feel it if she wants to move on from it. He knows that she’s upset and he lets her be upset, but he doesn’t let her be alone with it. That’s better help than any advice-giver or person who wants to ‘talk it out’. Sometimes it’s enough, _more_ than enough, just to know you don’t have to struggle alone. That you don’t have to drown, because someone is there to hold you above water, and doesn’t expect anything in return.

She pulls herself out of bed, standing in front of the mirror to assess the disaster. There are sleep lines all over her face and forearms, her cheeks red, her eyes glossy, and her hair a mess of tangles. Oh, well. She grabs a random shirt and a pair of jeans from her luggage, pulling them on despite the wrinkles. She wears a bralette instead of a bra, because she’s _really_ not feeling like underwire today. Instead of brushing her hair, she pulls it into a pile on top of her head, hoping it’ll pass off as a stylish messy bun.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she attempts makeup for the first time since arriving. Nothing too heavy, just some small things like concealer and blush and mascara to make her look less half-asleep. She still looks sleepy, but now it looks more like a conscious fashion aesthetic rather than a tell that she just woke up.

“Even!” She calls, waiting until she hears Even hum in response. “Chanel or Calvin Klein perfume?”

“What’s the Chanel one?”

Eva picks up the bottle, reading the front. “Coco Mademoiselle!”

“Definitely Chanel!”

She sprays it on her neck and on her wrists and then puts the bottle up on the dresser, breathing in the scent. It was a good choice. She grabs her purse and shoves her phone and chapstick inside of it, and then makes her way to the kitchen, where Even is putting away his and Isak’s matching mugs. Even’s said _Princess Consuela Banana Hammock_ and Isak’s said _Crap Bag_.

Even smiles when he sees her. “Perfect timing, that was the last of the dishes. You look good, by the way.” He smiles brighter, which she didn’t know was possible. “You smell good, too. I wonder who told you to pick that perfume. You should give them a raise.”

“I don’t pay them. They’re my bitch.”

“Get your own bitch, I’m already Isak’s bitch,” Even teases, and Eva just rolls her eyes and makes a whip-cracking sound. “You can’t insult me by telling me something I already know.”

“I can try.”

“That you can,” Even laughs, closing the cabinet and grabbing his house keys off of the countertop. “Ready to go?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

They get a lot of looks as they walk down the sidewalk. Eva supposes people must think they’re a couple. She wonders if they’d think anything of it if they knew she was here for a woman, and that he was in love with a man. Then she thinks about how nobody would give them a second glance; at least, not most people. Not in Oslo. Maybe if they were somewhere else, somewhere more traditional. Maybe it’s the anxiety thinking, though. Maybe nobody is actually looking at them and she just thinks they are. She’s so used to hiding and now she feels like her sexuality is a bright neon sign above her head, drawing everybody’s attention. She wonders if she’ll ever feel normal and comfortable in her label, the way Even does.

The KB isn’t a far walk, and they’re there before the slight chill in the air can seep into Eva’s bones too much. The room smells like dark roast and a slight hint of caramel, and she’s tempted to close her eyes and savor that smell.

“You can go find a seat,” Even says.

“Sure,” she agrees. “Just café au lait and a chicken and pesto sandwich, please.” Even gives her a thumbs up, so Eva goes to sit at one of the stools by the window, watching people walk by. She makes up little stories in her head for each of them, like Jacques who moved from France to attend UiO, and Elsa who moved from Russia to escape the mafia. She imagines little lives for these people, like characters in her head.

She wonders what people think of her. (Maybe she does that too often.) She wonders if they think she’s a uni student. Or if they think she’s in vgs. Or, maybe, they go all the way, placing her as a runaway from some family in Tjøme, a girl who got married at 16 in a secret ceremony to some boy from her hometown that her parents don’t approve of, so they moved to Oslo to disappear. Oslo isn’t a very good place to disappear, Eva thinks.

Or maybe it is. She can’t seem to find the girl she slept with. Unless the girl left Oslo altogether, she seems to be hidden pretty damn well. Almost like she knows Eva is here and looking for her, so she’s laying low on purpose. Eva wonders if someone knows something and is keeping it from her. If maybe someone, Isak or Sana or Noora, know who she slept with, but are protecting the person. She wonders if someone close to her knows, and has known all this time, but isn’t saying anything.

Even sits down a few minutes later, handing over her sandwich and coffee. She looks down at her café au lait and practically chokes when she sees the art they’d put on it. “Even, is this supposed to be a flower?” She asks, pushing it towards him. Even, who’d been in the middle stirring his own coffee, turns to look at it and promptly starts laughing.

“It looks like a dick,” he points out, and Eva collapses into giggles, too. “Maybe I should’ve informed the barista that you’re in Oslo in search of some more _internal_ anatomy.”

“Oh, god, no. I don’t want vagina art in my coffee either.” She lifts up the cup to drink it, but she knows it’s a mistake the second she sees a smirk unfurl on Even’s face in place of his usual happy grin.

“So,” he teases, “you’re a swallower, then?” Eva chokes, nearly spitting coffee all over the table as she does. “Ah, spoke too soon.”

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Eva laughs when she gets herself under control. “Why are boys so fucking vulgar? Just eat your muffin and shut up.”

Even knocks his shoulder into Eva’s, his smile back to normal. “Just trying to get that smile back on your face. You looked so sad when I came home.” Eva rolls her eyes, mostly as an excuse to look away. She doesn’t need Even to see how discouraged she is this soon into the trip. “I’m sorry things are getting so complicated in the search. But, hey, maybe it’ll be worth it. This girl could be the love of your life, you know? Your soulmate.”

“But what if she’s not, and I’m just wasting my time? What if she’s not even interested?”

“The worst she can do is say no. Nothing lost.”

“Nothing gained, either,” she mumbles, picking up her sandwich as if she’s going to take a bite. It takes her 3 seconds to put it back down and turn to face Even. “Do you think I’m crazy? Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to use that word. Fuck. I’m sorry. I just mean, like, do you think I’m deluding myself? Like, do you think I’m building up this image in my head of my dream girl, and that I’ll just be disappointed when I find this girl?”

Even shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so at all. Like, when I was going after Isak, I had all of these fantasies in my head. Scenarios and conversations and things that I wanted to happen, you know? I thought about him all the time, and all the things that _could_ happen. Is our relationship anything like my daydreams? Not in the fucking slightest. Because it’s better. And, the icing on the cake, it’s _real_. He’s not just some boy I’m making heart eyes at across a courtyard. He’s my boyfriend, we live together, we’re in love. That’s more than I ever expected to happen. He’s the love of my life.”

“I want that so badly,” Eva whispers, her voice getting shakier. “I feel like I’m rushing it. That I’m forcing it to happen so the universe will keep hiding her from me just to say _fuck you_.”

“You can’t force anything to happen. You’re just encouraging. Sometimes, all the world needs is a little encouragement.” He scoots closer, ducking down so she can look him in the eyes. “I don’t know if you’ll find your dream girl while you’re here, but that doesn’t mean you won’t meet the love of your life.”

Eva tries out a smile, finding that it doesn’t wobble or falter. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do. I’m 100% positive that you’ll find her.” He squeezes her hand and then sits back, taking a quick bite of his muffin. “I think I should take you to Sana’s. She knows, like, everything. She can introduce you to all the girls, which should help you find your girl.”

Eva snorts, “ _My_ girl. I haven’t gotten her yet, Even.”

“That’s what you think. You know what I think? I think that she’s looking for you, too.” Before Eva can ask what he means by that, he pushes her sandwich towards her. “Now, eat! We’re going to Sana’s after this, I’ve just decided, and we have to catch her before her brother convinces her to go play basketball. If there’s one thing Sana loves, it’s basketball. Can’t tear her away from that court no matter how hard you try.”

“Is she good?”

“Sana? Good?” Even laughs, taking a dramatic bite of his muffin. “She’s the best woman I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. She’s good at _everything_.”

***

Standing in front of the girls at Sana’s is more intimidating than anything Eva’s ever done. Even more intimidating than the time she gave a presentation about feminism to a class full of boys last semester. She blushes and squirms under their gazes, kind as they may be, instinctively scooting closer to Even.

“So,” Chris says, breaking the awkward silence, “how do you know Isak?”

Eva clears her throat. “Um, we met online.”

“That’s why you have a Bergen accent?”

Eva nods, a little uncomfortably. “I mean, yeah, I guess. I’m from Bergen.” She chews on her lips, surveying the four sets of eyes staring back at her. “I came last summer for about a week, as well. Isak never introduced me to all of you, though. But there was a party I went to, maybe you remember it?”  
  
“Eva’s going away party,” Sana voices, and Eva nods. “You’re not easy to forget, you know. I remember you.”  
  
“Sorry I don’t remember you,” Eva murmurs, a little embarrassed as she recalls introducing herself at Eskild’s the day previous. “I got super fucked up that night. I still haven’t quite learned my limits,” she explains, laughing quietly. Sana gives her a kind smile, and it eases her nerves exponentially.  
  
“You’ve met Chris and Vilde?” Noora asks, and Eva nods.  
  
“Well, I met Vilde the other day,” Eva explains, shooting a smile at the pretty blonde, “but I haven’t met Chris until just now. It’s lovely to meet you, Chris.”  
  
Chris nods, lifting her wine glass up as if for a toast. Eva smiles, twisting her fingers in her hand. She wonders if they can tell just how nervous she is. “So, Even, why did you want to see us? Kasper is waiting on me,” Chris says, and then turns to Eva. “Kasper is my boyfriend. Remind me to tell you how we met, it’s the funniest story! Girls, do you remember our trip to Hemsedal?”  
  
“Oh, god. Sana’s hijab powers!” Noora laughs, reaching over to run her fingers over Sana’s hijab, lingering over one of the heart shaped pins. She jerks her hand away after a moment, suddenly very invested in studying the appearance of her fingernails. Eva chances a glance at Even, who gives her an equally amused look as her own.  
  
Even moves to sit down in a chair next to the couch that the girls are on, so Eva sits down in the chair next to Even. “So, Eva needs a bit of help,” Even prefaces, before turning to Eva, raising his eyebrows as if to ask her if she wants to tell it.  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Eva agrees, looking up at the girls once more. “Um, the night of the party this summer, whilst I was drunk, I was flirting with some girl. The first girl I’ve ever gone after, actually, and um. She and I slept together. And now, I can’t remember who she is. I was so drunk that my memories are, like, nonexistent. So I’ve been trying to ask people who were at the party if they remember seeing me with someone, or if...if maybe they were the one I slept with.”  
  
Apparently her humiliation is obvious, because Chris leans forward and touches her knee. “Don’t look so embarrassed! What self respecting woman hasn’t blacked out at least once?“ Eva laughs, surprised, and Chris seems pleased that she made Eva laugh. “It wasn’t me, though. I’ve been with Kasper since just after Hemsedal in our first year at Nissen. And I don’t remember seeing you with anyone, I’m sorry.”  
  
All of the other girls agree, sharing looks with each other as if to verify that none of them remember anything. “It was some time ago, though,” Vilde offers. “Do you remember anything else? Anything at all?”  
  
“Um...” Eva thinks back, coming up just as frustratingly empty as she did at Eskild’s. “No. All I remember is that it was a girl. Shit, I’m sorry, I know it’s not much to go on. This whole idea is just so fucking stupid—”  
  
“Hey,” Sana interrupts, “no it isn’t. It’s not stupid. We can figure this out.”  
  
“I don’t know how we can— Wait! I do remember one other thing, actually,” Eva says, and everyone leans in closer, literally and metaphorically sitting on the edges of their seats. “The color red. I remember the color red. A vibrant and bright one, like, like—”  
  
“Like Noora’s lipstick?” Sana asks.  
  
Noora splutters, lightly hitting Sana’s arm before Eva can say yes. Eva shares another look with Even, though this one is full of confusion and suspicion, all traces of amusement gone. All signs keep pointing to Noora, piece by piece. And clearly Noora’s hiding something. So, if Noora remembers, why is she hiding it? Why is she lying? Why won’t she look Eva in the eyes?  
  
Maybe Eva was right all along. Maybe the girl is Noora and maybe Noora doesn’t want her. Eva would understand. Noora is beautiful, and smart, and could have any girl she wanted in the world. She deserves better than Eva. Honestly, Eva wouldn’t choose herself either.  
  
She’s just about to say something to stop the girls excited babbling, to deny any connection to Noora altogether, but Vilde speaks before she can.  
  
“Oh, my god!” She squeals, practically plastering herself to Noora’s side. “It was you! You slept with Eva! Oh, my god, why didn’t you tell anyone?! How long have you known?! Can I be your maid of honor when you two get married, oh, my god, you two would be so cute together! How cozy would it be, though, all of us at your wedding?! And Eva came all the way from Bergen to find you and—”  
  
“Vilde, stop!” Noora yells, cheeks as red as her lips, her eyes vaguely glossy. Eva’s own bottom lip trembles as the scene plays out before her. God, she can’t believe she was so fucking stupid to think that anyone would want her. Eva’s just a good fuck (if even that), a one night stand and nothing more. “Just stop, okay?! I didn’t sleep with Eva!”  
  
Even stands, reaching to touch Noora’s arm. Noora just steps back, towards Sana. When Sana touches Noora’s elbow, hooks her fingers around it gently, like a bracelet, Noora doesn’t flinch away. Eva thinks about touching Noora like that, of laying her grimy hands on Noora’s porcelain skin, and she wonders how she ever thought she would be worthy of such an honor.  
  
She’d never be good enough for something like that, for a woman like that.  
  
God. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._  
  
“I didn’t even drink that night, okay?! I wasn’t drunk! I didn’t black out! So I would remember if I slept with her, and I didn’t,” Noora continues, voice trembling in time with the thudding of Eva’s heartbeat.  
  
Eva grabs Even’s hand, tugging on it gently. “Let’s just go, Even, okay? I can’t breathe in here,” she mutters.  
  
“No, Eva, wait,” Chris says, grabbing Eva’s other hand. “Please stay. We can have a sleepover. I’ll cancel on Kasper. Come on, yeah? You’d have way more fun with us then you ever would with two men.”  
  
“Hey!” Even complains, but he’s smiling, and Eva knows she has to stay.  
  
“Only if Noora is okay with it,” she decides, glancing over at the blonde, who’s almost tucked into Sana’s side at this point. “I’m sorry, by the way. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”  
  
“You didn’t,” Sana reassures. “All the signs pointed to her and we got carried away. It isn’t your fault.”  
  
“Stay,” Noora says, suddenly a lot calmer than just moments before. Eva wonders if it has something to do with the soothing pattern that Sana appears to be rubbing on her upper arm. Eva sniffs. “I would love to get to know you, since I didn’t get a chance to at your going away party.”  
  
So, Eva stays the night. Even was right, she hadn’t lost anything at all in this endeavor so far. But she had gained—4 new best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it seems rushed xx


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and her light  
> stretches over salt sea  
> equally and flowerdeep fields.  
> and the beautiful dew is poured out  
> and roses bloom and frail  
> chervil and flowering sweetclover  
> -sappho

“I don’t really know what was up with Noora last night,” Vilde says, sitting down at the table outside the cafe, placing down her tea and their plate. They’re splitting a banana nut muffin, both a little hungover from being wine drunk with the girls the night before. “She’s been really weird lately, though. I don’t know what it is. It started even before you got here.”

Eva hums, sipping her coffee. Her coffee art had appeared like boobs this time, and she’d sent a snap of it to Even before drinking it. “How so? Like, what has she been doing? Yelling at you like that?”

“No, no,” Vilde shakes her head. “More like...being secretive. Hanging out with us less. She’s always ‘studying’, but Eskild says she’s hardly ever home. She said she studies at the library, but… I don’t know, it’s all weird to me. To all of us, really.”

“Do you think there’s something going on? Like, do you think there’s something wrong, that doesn’t want to tell you about?”  
  
Vilde shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s hard to tell with Noora. She’s good at keeping secrets, when she really wants to.”   
  
Anyone with eyes can see that, Eva thinks. Noora’s been tight-lipped since she got to Oslo, clearly keeping something below the surface. “I just wonder what she would be keeping from you all, you know? I don’t think I keep very much from Isak,” she murmurs, briefly glancing up to make sure Vilde isn’t offended. The last thing Eva wants to do is cross boundaries, make her feel like Eva’s crossed the line by criticizing their friendship.   
  
Thankfully, Vilde seems to agree with it. She doesn’t say it, is probably too loyal to speak ill of her friend that way, but Eva can tell from the way Vilde contorts her face that she agrees, and that she’s bitter about it. Eva reaches between them to pull a piece of the banana nut muffin they’d bought to share, popping it in her mouth. Vilde traces the movements, smiling at Eva while Eva chews, until Eva can smile back.   
  
Vilde takes her own piece, chewing it carefully for a few moments. “I think she’s got a girlfriend,” Vilde admits finally, voice hushed like she doesn’t want anyone to overhear. Eva wonders if there’s someone who might be listening, someone who hears enough to make Vilde feel the need to whisper even when they’re alone. “I just can’t figure out why she wouldn’t tell us about a girlfriend. She tells us about hookups and stuff, so... Maybe this girl is someone we know.”   
  
“Maybe,” Eva nods. “Or maybe she doesn’t have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s something bad, and she’s scared to lose her friends.”   
  
“Noora wouldn’t hurt a fly. She’s one of the most loyal, kindhearted people I know. That’s why this doesn’t make sense.” She sighs, resting her chin in her hand. The action makes her lips purse, and Eva tries hard not to be too aggressively attracted to her.   
  
It’s just that Vilde is so fucking pretty. She’s beautiful, and amazing, and funny, and one of the sweetest girls that Eva’s ever met. All she has to do is exist and Eva will be breathless at how fucking beautiful she is. Everything she says sounds like music, her eyes are like lights, and she knows it’s cliché to compare humans to things that are literally impossible for humans to be, but she can’t think of anything else to describe it. Honestly, she doesn’t think her descriptors are anywhere near good enough.   
  
Vilde laughs, pulling Eva out of her mind. Eva smiles when she hears the bubbly laughter, like a reflex. “What are you laughing at?” Eva asks, leaning back in her seat.   
  
“Nothing,” Vilde smiles, “just thinking about the possibilities. Like, what if Noora is hiding her girlfriend because she looks identical to Sana?”   
  
“Sana?”   
  
“Yeah, wouldn’t that be hilarious? Like a twin! Or, a... What’s the word?”   
  
“Doppelgänger,” Eva fills in, absentmindedly. She wonders why Vilde picked Sana, of all people. She wonders if Vilde has noticed the same behaviors that Eva noticed, like the soft caresses on her arm the night before, and the way Noora had melted under the touch.   
  
Vilde nods, “That’s it. Doppelgänger.” She tilts her head then, studying Eva. “Are you okay? You look startled, and a little pale.” She lifts the tea to her lips, so Eva focuses on the small milk mustache it leaves behind.   
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Eva sighs, leaning her elbows on the table. She can almost hear her mum yelling at her to _have some fucking manners, Eva,_ but Vilde just leans forward too, and Eva thinks about kissing her. God, she’d love to kiss her. “I was just thinking about Sana. She’s been sort of weird, too, hasn’t she? I think that maybe-”

“Vilde!” Eva hears, interrupting their conversation. Vilde leans back in her seat and smiles at whoever’s shown up, waving them over. Eva turns in her chair to see two girls walking up to them, and she has to do a double take because god _damn_. There must be something in Oslo’s water because all of the girls here are insanely beautiful and out to fucking kill Eva.

The two girls move to hug Vilde, and Eva hides her burning cheeks into her coffee cup. She’s been blushing a lot on this trip, she thinks. It’s not her fault, though, that all of the women in Oslo (in the _world_ ) are fucking goddesses.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot!” Vilde laughs as the two girls drag up chairs to join Eva and Vilde at their table. “Eva, this is Ingrid and Sara. Sara and Ingrid, this is Eva. She’s a friend of Isak’s.”

Eva shakes their hands, trying not to avert her eyes. Ingrid is especially difficult not to get flustered over. She’s wearing a leather jacket that Eva wouldn’t mind holding the lapels of ~~_(as she presses Ingrid against the wall and kisses her senseless)_~~ , sunglasses pushed up onto the top of her head, and mauve lipstick that would probably look better smudged from kissing.

She looks like the type of girl whose music taste ranges from bubblegum pop to classic rock, who could punch an annoying dudebro in the face without breaking a nail or a heel, who can rock both a miniskirt and boyfriend jeans. Just looking at her makes Eva feel like she’s on a late night drive, windows down, music blasting, both of them laughing and kissing way too much for their personal safety.

God, so far Eva’s had a crush on every single girl she’s met.

Oh well. A little poly never killed nobody.

Ingrid takes out the one earbud she had in, turning on her phone to pause whatever music she’d been playing. Eva catches a glance of Hayley Kiyoko’s album cover, and she can’t stop herself from pointing it out. “I love Hayley Kiyoko,” she says, and the smile Ingrid gives her is small, but so fucking beautiful that Eva’s mind spins in circles.

“Me, too,” Ingrid agrees. “The Citrine EP is my favorite.”

“Same! My favorite song of hers is Girls Like Girls, though. It’s the exception.” She smiles when Ingrid laughs. “Pretty Girl is another one of my favorites.”

Ingrid turns on her phone, showing Eva her lockscreen. It shows that she’d paused One Bad Night. “That’s my favorite song. It’s my favorite song to play when I’m driving.” Eva has another flash of a daydream, of herself and Ingrid driving down the highway at 2am, holding each other’s hands when she should be holding the steering wheel.

“Are you the girl from that party last summer?” Sara asks suddenly, and Eva nods. “It’s so cool that you’ve come back! I was going to go but I got so poorly that day. I was so excited to meet you, as well. Isak speaks so highly of you.” She glances at Ingrid, a small smile on her face, and Eva delights in the pink blush that rises on Ingrid’s cheeks.

Vilde hums, putting down her cup so fast that she splashes tea everywhere. “Eva! Could it be Ingrid? She was at the party!” She turns to Ingrid. “You were there, weren’t you?”

“Uh, yeah?” Ingrid says slowly, glancing between Eva and Vilde with her eyebrows drawn in confusion. Eva sighs, reaching out to take a bite of the muffin. Every time she meet a pretty girl she has to fuck it up by telling this fucking humiliating story.

Of course, she doesn’t _have_ to talk about it. She could forget about it altogether. But if she wants to find her girl, this is what she has to do.

“I had a drunk one night stand with a girl that night,” Eva explains. “I can’t remember anything about who she is. All I remember is the way she made me feel, as horribly cliche as that sounds. I came back to Oslo to see if I could find her. This is day four and I’m shit out of luck, so far.”

“We thought it could be Noora,” Vilde interjects, “but now I’m not so sure. Noora keeps changing her story of what happened that night.”

Sara faces Eva again. “It’s just a one night stand, though. Like maybe it was just sex, and it should be left at that.” Ingrid slaps Sara’s arm, and Sara just rolls her eyes. “I’m just saying, if you don’t find out who it is, don’t beat yourself up.”

“It meant something to me, though,” Eva says. “The way she made me feel… I’ve never felt that before, with anyone. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that way again. And, like, it was the first girl I’ve ever been with, as well. And maybe she won’t want me, or maybe she doesn’t remember, or maybe it doesn’t work out. But if I don’t try, I’ll always think about what could’ve been. Because that night was special to me, regardless of whether or not it was special to her.”

Sara opens her mouth to continue, but Vilde beats her to it. “In my third year at Nissen, I had a thing for this girl in second year. She had the most beautiful red hair, like red velvet cake, and always wore a different shade of lipstick and I don’t think I ever saw her wearing a color other than black, white, or grey. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. We dated for, like, four months in secret. She taught me about what it meant to be in the LGBT community, what it meant to love, what it meant to love a _girl_ . She and I didn’t work out, but I would have regretted it my whole life if I didn’t take that chance. Maybe I wouldn’t even be out right now if I hadn’t loved her.” She reaches out, holds Eva’s hands, and squeezes them gently. “I think that whatever feels right to you is what you should do. Because it _means_ something to you, and that’s important.”

Ingrid reaches to take Eva’s other hand. They’re warm and soft, and there’s a ring around her middle finger with a small heart on it. Eva wants to press her lips to that ring, kiss Ingrid there and up her arm, to her jaw and further. “Your happiness is important, Eva. Don’t listen to Sara.” She turns to glare at her friend, who just glares right back. Eva wonders what those shared looks are about. “I didn’t accept that I liked women until my second year when I found myself crushing on my brother’s girlfriends. I never thought I’d have a chance with any of them, because they were older, and so pretty I thought I’d cry just trying to speak to them. But I took a chance and kissed one of them. It wasn’t my first kiss, but it was the most important one I’ve had.” She blushes again, giving a nervous glance to Sara before correcting herself, “Well, second most important.”

Eva cocks her head, “Who was your most important?”

“Um…” Ingrid laughs nervously, looking down at the table. “How about… How about you give me your number, we go for coffee tomorrow, and maybe then I’ll tell you.”

Eva smiles, “How did you know that gossip and coffee are my weaknesses? Well, that and insanely fucking pretty girls.” That pretty pink blush returns to Ingrid’s cheeks as she hands over her phone.

When Eva opens up the contacts, she fucks up her number 4 times due to typing with one hand (Ingrid’s fingers are, amazingly, still entwined with hers). But once she gets it right, another contact pops up, under her name. Ingrid already had Eva’s number saved in her phone. She glances up at Ingrid in question, but she’s engrossed in a conversation about Vilde’s cat Dandelion with Sara and Vilde, so Eva leaves it.

She types in her number again, saving it under **_Eva Kviig Mohn_ ** because the first contact, the one that Eva doesn’t remember putting in _(could she have gotten it from someone else? But why would she ask for Eva’s number? Had they met before? When? How? What the hell is going on?)_ is saved under **_Pretty Girl from Bergen_ **.

It could be anyone, Eva thinks. ( _No, it couldn’t,_ her mind screams.)

Ingrid and Eva leave soon after, and Ingrid almost seems like she doesn’t want to let go of Eva’s hands. Eva decides to have balls for once, leaning forward to press a kiss to the heart ring around Ingrid’s middle finger. Ingrid blushes again, and holds that hand to her chest, like it’s sacred.

“Text me,” Ingrid grins, and Eva promises to. As the girls walk away, she can’t help but hear Ingrid squeal, “Oh, my fucking god, I’m never repainting the nails on this hand again. I’m never washing this hand again! Oh, my god.” Eva remembers the chipped red nail polish that Ingrid had been wearing, and makes sure to make a mental note to look on their date (their date!) to see if they’re repainted.

Vilde is practically vibrating, all sunny smiles and excited bouncing. “Ingrid _likes_ you! Like, really likes you! Oh, my god, you can never go back to Bergen! You have to stay and fall in love and live in this cute little cabin by the sea and-” Vilde’s babbling fades out as Eva falls into her reverie of late night drives and garage bands and lip-bruising kisses.

Even’s words echo in her mind. _I don’t know if you’ll find your dream girl while you’re here, but that doesn’t mean you won’t meet the love of your life._

Eva glances the way Ingrid left, and thinks that he might be right.


	5. five

Time goes by faster when you’re having fun. That’s what everyone always says. And it seems to be true, because her time with Vilde seemed to fly by, meanwhile the walk back to Isak’s flat seems to be endless. She attributes it to the fact that she’s rolling ideas around and around in her mind like a pinball machine she just can’t beat. On the one hand, something is up with Ingrid and Sara, but on the other, Eva can’t shake her suspicions about Noora. 

_ Maybe it was just sex, and it should be left at that, _ Sara’s voice rings in her head.

No, Eva decides. It was more than that. And it’s allowed to mean more than that. She doesn’t have to apologize for ‘catching feelings’ after a one night stand, she doesn’t have to be ashamed to chase what made her happy. Even if things aren’t the same now, or if the feelings aren’t reciprocated, or if Eva never finds the girl, it doesn’t matter. She’s allowed to try, and she’s allowed to feel. There’s nothing stopping her but herself, and she doesn’t want to stand in her own way.

So what if Sara thinks it’s pointless? It’s Eva’s life, Eva’s decisions. She’s fully capable of thinking for herself and Sara can never stand in the way of that. 

She walks with a new determination, a new confidence, a new spring in her step. She can straighten her back and flip her hair back over her shoulders and tilt her chin up defiantly, striding along the sidewalk like she has a purpose. She holds her head up high, doesn’t let that tiara fall off of her head, just walks and walks and--

Promptly runs right into someone.

Schoolbooks and folders and papers go flying everywhere, pencils scattering on the pavement. The girl swears and immediately drops to try and collect her papers before the wind whips them away. Eva, in turn, goes for the folders and pencils.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” she apologizes. “I was just thinking about something, got too deep into my head. I should’ve been paying better attention. Are you okay? Did you get everything?” The girl is standing now, clutching the papers and glancing around to make sure she got all of them.

Once she’s sure, she turns back to Eva and laughs a little. “Fuck, that could’ve been bad. I just finished rewriting all of these notes.” She accepts the folders from Eva, and then allows her to pick up the books and hand those over, too. “No need to apologize, I should’ve been paying more attention too. No worries.” She stares at Eva for a moment, eyebrows drawn and a small smile on her face. Eva laughs nervously, shifts her weight under the gaze, until the girl seems to shake herself out of it. “Sorry for staring, I just… Do we know each other?”

Eva raises her eyebrows, taken aback. She’d never expected to be recognized whilst in Oslo, of all places. “Um, probably not? I’m not from around here,” she explains, and the girl tilts her head curiously, a look in her eyes that makes Eva want to talk more. “I’m from Bergen, if...if you couldn’t already tell by my accent. Is my accent that obvious? I don’t know, I can’t hear it at all. That’s the thing about accents, you know, you can’t hear your own but you can hear everyone else’s. Or maybe not, because I can’t hear Bergen accents in general, so maybe… I’m rambling, sorry.” Eva blushes, ducking her head as if it’ll get her out of the soft gaze of this girl.

The girl just laughs again. Her laugh is kind, not mocking, and makes Eva feel warm. “I knew that was a Bergen accent. I’d know that accent anywhere.” She shifts the weight of her books to her hip, and uses her now free hand to point at Eva. “You’re Evie! From that party last summer!”

“It’s Eva.”

“Eva! Right, sorry, my memory on that night is a little hazy.”  _ You and me both. _ “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“No, I’m sorry. Should I?”

The girl smiles, holding out her free hand. It’s her left hand, not her right, so that makes the handshake a little awkward, but Eva goes along with it. “I’m Iben, nice to meet you. Again. I met you at the party that night.” She points in the direction Eva was going. “Are you going that way?” Eva nods. “Cool, let’s walk and talk. I’m gonna be late for class.”

They start walking again, slower than Eva had been before, but no less confident. Iben stays close, so close that their arms brush against each other with every step. “So,” Eva says, when they’ve been quiet for a block or so, “you said we met at the party?”

Iben nods, “Yep. I went with my girlfriend, Mari, because Mari knew Noora from somewhere and got the invite that way. Do you know Noora?” Eva nods, and Iben smiles. “Noora’s sweet. Anyways, so going into the party, I didn’t really know anybody except for a few people I’d just seen around school. Mari pretty much had to introduce me to everyone, but you were so wrapped up in beer pong with Isak’s boyfriend that we just decided to leave you two to it.”

Eva laughs, knocking her shoulder into Iben’s. She means it to be casual, maybe a  _ little _ flirtatious (Iben has a girlfriend, though, so nothing serious), but it ends up with Iben stumbling again. “Shit, sorry, sorry. Geez, what is it with me and knocking you over today?” Eva laughs as she grabs Iben’s arm to hold her on two feet.

“If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d ask if you were trying to make me fall for you,” Iben teases, and Eva rolls her eyes, but laughs anyways. “Anyways, later on, me and Mari went into the bathroom to..well, I’m sure you can figure out why. But Mari didn’t lock the door--she never remembers to lock the door, and our golden retriever knows how to open doors. It’s very awkward to be in the middle of sex and just have your dog--okay, I’m getting off topic. Anyway, Mari didn’t lock the door, so next thing we know this drunk off her ass girl comes stumbling in, practically throwing up into her hands.”

Eva covers her face with her hands, groaning in embarrassment. “Oh, my  _ God _ , I need to learn my limits. I can’t believe that’s your first impression of me!” She whines, but Iben just laughs and knocks their shoulders together, making Eva stumble this time.

“It’s okay! We’ve all been there. And anyway, you were super cute. You kept talking and laughing and trying to tell us about this amazing girl you were talking to. Mari held your hair back while you were sick while I went around trying to find Isak. I couldn’t find him, though, so I came back to the bathroom to tell you, but when I got there, you were running up the stairs with some blonde girl.”

Eva freezes mid-step, right in the middle of the sidewalk. “A blonde girl? I went upstairs with a blonde girl?” Iben nods. “Did you happen to see her face? Or know her name? Or both?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Do you think Mari would?”

“Mari said that you’d left the bathroom almost as soon as I did, and she stayed in there to clean up your vomit from the floor.” She studies Eva’s face for a moment, surely reading the defeated expression. “Why? Is everything okay?”

Eva sighs, nodding once and continuing to walk. Iben falls into step with her without hesitation, still giving her curious side glances. “I just… I met a girl at that party, a girl I really like. But I can’t remember who it was. I was so drunk.” She frowns, looking down at her feet.  _ Step on a crack, break your mama’s back _ . She carefully avoids four cracks, and then accidentally steps on the fifth. When she looks up again, it’s to see that they’ve reached Isak’s. “Well, this is me. Thanks for walking with me, and it was nice to meet you. Or, meet you  _ again _ , I should say.”

Iben nods, smiling. “You too. I hope you find your girl.” She waves and then skips off, and Eva sighs again. She didn’t even know sighing was a  _ thing _ until she started facing the disappointment that is trying to find love.

She walks up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She knows Isak is home from school by now, he  _ has _ to be. She just hopes that he’s not swamped in homework or revision, because if he is, there’s no way she’ll be able to tear him away from his studies. Many have tried and just as many have failed. (Except for maybe Even, but he has distraction tactics that would just be weird should others attempt them.)

Thankfully, Isak is just laying in bed on his phone. He smiles and sits up when Eva comes in, but she interrupts before he can say anything. “She’s blonde,” Eva blurts. Isak tilts his head in confusion. “The girl I slept with. She’s blonde.”

“Oh!” Isak practically jumps to sit on the edge of the bed, closer to her. “So that narrows it down to Vilde and Noora.”

“It’s Noora,” Eva says definitively. “It has to be. All signs point to her, and she’s acting fucking weird. I’m convinced, it has to be her.”

Isak grabs his jacket from the back of the chair and slips it on, and then gives Eva an expectant look. “Well, let’s get going then. Let’s go talk to Noora.”

 

***

 

Noora, upon confrontation, gives them the same confused (yet suspicious) look as she has the last few times. She and Sana are there studying--thankfully, not with the same vigor as one Isak Valtersen, otherwise this conversation wouldn’t have happened--and they both look equally surprised. Although, Eva notes, once again, they look like Eva had just caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

“I spoke with Iben today,” Eva informs her, voice gentle. She doesn’t want to make Noora upset again, and more than that, she doesn’t want Noora to feel like she expects anything. “She says she remembers seeing me go upstairs with a girl with blonde hair. That leaves you and Vilde. And since I also remember your red lipstick, and since you’ve been acting so strangely… Please just be honest with me. Is it you?”

“I don’t--” Noora begins, but Isak interrupts.

“Come on, Noora,” Isak insists. “Something happened with you that night. It has to be you. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Noora shakes her head, looking between the two of them. “I’m sorry, Eva, but it’s not me. It really wasn’t me.” When Isak looks like he’s about to protest, Noora interrupts. “I didn’t sleep with anyone that night. I didn’t even get drunk. I went to a house party and danced and hung out with my friends, and something  _ did _ happen, but not what you think.”

“Then what happened?” Eva asks.

“I got a girlfriend,” Noora says, almost too quietly to hear. Eva almost asks who, but the meaningful look she gives Sana explains everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever & is short and unedited, i have the flu rip


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for an explicit scene, in between the ### so you can skip it if you're uncomfortable! (also its my first time writing wlw smut but one of my friends who's well-versed in wlw sex helped me out, so i hope its ok!)

When the door to Noora’s closes behind them, Eva stops. Isak turns to her with an expectant look, like he knows exactly what she’s about to say. “The only person left is Vilde,” she says simply, and Isak nods slowly. “It makes sense. She and I hit it off from the start and--”

“Eva, everybody’s ‘made sense’ so far, and we’re still wrong every time.”

Eva throws her hands up. “Well, who the hell else could it be? They say me go upstairs with a blonde girl and if it’s not Vilde… It  _ has _ to be her, there’s no other explanation!” She exclaims, but Isak just gives her another look, one that looks patronizing. “You’ve come along with me this far and now you’re choosing to go all high and mighty? You just think I’m being stupid now, too, don’t you?”

“No, Eva, I don’t.” He leans against the wall and Eva pushes herself off of the door frame, standing in front of him with folded arms. “I just think you keep getting your hopes up for it to be somebody, and investing your heart in it, and then you get crushed a little more each time we reach a dead end.”

“I’m fine!”

Isak purses his lips, looking away. It’s all Eva can do not to stomp her foot like a child throwing a temper tantrum. She doesn’t understand why Isak is clamming up all of a sudden, when he’s been so behind this the whole time. It doesn’t make sense. There’s no reason why Vilde being the girl Eva slept with would make any fucking difference, not that she knows about, and if there is, and Isak knows about it but has kept it from her this whole time, she’ll take the first flight home to Bergen in the morning.

But Isak doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t say anything about knowing some big secret, he doesn’t say he’s done helping her, he doesn’t say they need to go talk to Vilde. He just stands there like a fucking coward, not saying anything at all, and the worst thing about answering questions with silence is that people just make up their own answers. Eva’s certainly developed a habit of drawing conclusions from silence.

“Fuck you,” she snaps, storming away from him. She can’t really place why she’s so angry, or why there are tears streaming down her face as she stomps down the stairs. Isak hadn’t done anything, hadn’t said anything. She doesn’t know for sure that he’s been keeping secrets, but that’s what she’s pretty sure happened anyways, and she feels humiliated because of it.

If he had known all along that it was Vilde, but hadn’t told her (why wouldn’t he tell her?) for whatever reason, then he’s just basically let her exhaust herself on a wild goose chase. She’s made a fool out of herself for the past five days, and Isak let her. 

When she hits the street, someone catches her wrist. She spins around to face Isak, who the hell else would it be, and she tries to rip her arm away. He lets her go, but catches her elbow instead, trying to pull her into a hug. Eva barely struggles before stepping into it, pressing her face into his jacket and trying her damndest to stop crying in the middle of the street when there’s nothing to fucking cry over.

“It’s okay, Eva,” he whispers, holding her close to his chest and rubbing her back. “We’ll find out who it is, okay? We will. I promised you we would and I’m going to make good on that promise.”

_ Why is he saying that like we don’t already know it’s Vilde? _

“Sara dyed her hair blonde that summer,” he whispers.

Eva doesn’t pull away, but she does shift back so she can look up at him. “But she wasn’t at the party, she told me that at lunch,” she mumbles. Isak shakes his head a little, and Eva gapes. “She lied. She was at the party and she lied about it. What the fuck? Why would she lie?”

Isak shrugs, “I don’t know. But I know she was there, I saw her. I hugged her.”

“Why would she lie?” Eva repeats, more as a question to herself. “Why is this like a fucking murder mystery? Why is everyone  _ lying _ like they’re trying to avoid getting caught by the police or something?”

“You’re asking so many questions and I know the answers to none of them.”

“Well, you know who should?” Eva pulls away, digging out her phone with one hand and swiping at her cheeks with the other. She pulls up her text conversation with Ingrid, which is too short on messages for Eva’s liking. It’s too bad she has to break the ice like this. 

 

**Eva** (2:02pm)

_ hey ingrid! i don’t mean to bother you so soon but i was wondering if we could meet up tonight? lol i know it’s literally just a few hours after we met but i’d really love to see you _

_ if you’re busy, that’s ok!  _

 

**Ingrid** (2:06pm)

_ Hey! I’d love to see you too, tonight sounds great. What time works for you? _

 

**Eva** (2:07pm)

_ how’s 7? _

 

**Ingrid** (2:08pm)

_ Great! Where do you want to meet up? _

 

**Eva** (2:08pm)

_ kb? _

 

**Ingrid** (2:08pm)

_ The same one we were at earlier? _

 

**Eva** (2:09pm)

_ lol i forgot we were there today _

_ my head is all over the place  _

_ we can go somewhere else if you want! _

 

**Ingrid** (2:10pm)

_ See you at KB at 7 :) _

 

“There,” Eva says, tucking her phone back in her pocket and nodding. “I’ll just ask Ingrid when I see her.”

 

***

 

Eva sits down at Kaffebrenneriet five minutes after seven, with a café au lait and a cookie, and Ingrid by her side. Ingrid drinks tea, herbal tea, and she informs Eva that when she drinks tea at home, she adds flowers to it. 

She looks more beautiful than Eva remembers, in black ripped jeans and the same leather jacket she’d been wearing, but her lipstick now is bright red instead of mauve, and her hair is curled instead of in free waves. Eva wants to kiss her more than she’d ever wanted to kiss anyone before, even more so now that they’re spending time together, and all there is to do is look at Ingrid’s lips and how beautiful they are when she smiles, laughs, or takes a sip of her tea. 

“So,” Ingrid says, touching the toe of her combat boot to the side of Eva’s Vans, “if everything goes well, what’re we gonna do? Since you live in Bergen. Don’t you go home in, like, 3 days?”

“Yeah, I do. But if everything works out, then we’ll figure it out. Me and Isak have stayed friends through the distance, I’m sure I could make a relationship work for a while, until we got the opportunity to be closer.” 

It makes Eva’s heart race to know that Ingrid is thinking of their future, and what it could be, and how they would live. She wonders if Ingrid imagines marriage with her, yet, because Eva’s already thinking of their children, whether they’ll adopt or do surrogate or artificial insemination. She’s always fallen too hard, too fast; but she feels safe this time, oddly positive that Ingrid will be there to catch her. 

“Isak says you had blonde hair the summer we first met,” Eva says, and Ingrid nods, laughing into her teacup as if she regrets the memory. “Maybe that’s why I don’t recognize you. I mean, my number was already in your phone when I went to put it in earlier.”

“I must’ve gotten it at the party,” Ingrid nods, putting her teacup down. “Can’t blame past Ingrid for having a crush on you, since present Ingrid does, too, and surely future Ingrid will. But, God, that blonde hair was a mistake. I can’t believe I let Sara talk me into doing that.”

Eva smiles, “I bet you looked amazing. I can’t imagine you’ve ever looked anything but.”

“You have to say that,” Ingrid blushes, nervously fiddling with the handle on her teacup. Eva is so impossibly endeared, she wants to wrap Ingrid up and hold her and hug her and kiss her and cuddle her while they watch Netflix in bed at 4am because neither of them can sleep. 

For a while, Eva forgets what she wanted to ask Ingrid about. They just sip their coffee and tea, split the cookie, and  _ talk _ . Ingrid is so interesting, with so many fun stories, and she’s so fucking funny without even trying. They talk until it gets dark out, past when their cups are empty and their cookie is gone, but they still haven’t run out of things to talk about, or laugh about. 

They stay until KB closes, and even then they’re reluctant to leave. They hold hands the whole walk to Ingrid’s, where Eva plans to drop her off with a goodnight kiss and then head back to Isak’s. But when they get there, it’s harder to separate than she’d intended for it to be, though she can’t say she’s surprised. She wants to spend all of her time with Ingrid, now. 

“Is this where we kiss goodnight and then text all night long and then you promise to call me and I wait anxiously for the phone call the next day?” Ingrid teases, her fingers lingering between Eva’s. 

“Who said you’ll have to  _ wait _ for a phone call?” Eva laughs, pressing in close, but not kissing Ingrid just yet. “I think I’ve made it fairly obvious that I’m hella into you.”

“Did you just say  _ hella _ ?”

“You chose this life,” Eva grins, finally leaning in and pressing their lips together. Ingrid’s hands go to cup her cheeks while Eva’s fingers dig into Ingrid’s hips, pressing her against the wall of the entryway. 

Ingrid laughs into the kiss at first, but quickly melts into it, trying to pull Eva closer, and closer, and closer. Their mouths part and their hands start traveling and Eva wedges one of her legs between Ingrid’s thighs, revelling in the way it makes her breath catch. 

“Maybe we should,” Ingrid starts, but quickly gets cut off when Eva kisses her harder, and rolls their hips together. “Fuck, maybe we should take this inside.”

They stumble through the dark hallways, Eva being led blindly by Ingrid to her bedroom. Ingrid flips the light switch and then shuts her bedroom door with her foot, quickly reattaching their lips together. Eva backs her up until her thighs hit the edge of the bed, and Ingrid sinks to lay down on it, letting Eva climb over her. 

Eva makes quick work of Ingrid’s clothes, kissing every inch of her skin as more of it becomes visible. Pale collarbones, delicious hips, the softest stomach, her legs covered in goosebumps from the anticipation. Eva reaches to unhook Ingrid’s bra and, when it comes loose, leans down to press gentle kisses to the skin, which turns into suckling love bites before Eva even registers the change. 

**###**

“You, too,” Ingrid pants, tugging at the bottom of Eva’s shirt. Eva sits back on her knees to pull off her top, and then quickly shimmies out of her skinny jeans. They get caught around her ankles and Ingrid has to help her get them off, but they just giggle through it, pressing chaste kisses to each other’s lips as they work the tight fabric over Eva’s feet. 

Eva gently pushes Ingrid’s legs open, tampering her nervousness down. She can do this. Ingrid doesn’t expect her to be a sex goddess, they’re in this together, anything they do to each other will be good, no matter the inexperience. This isn’t about just fucking, this is about them showing how strong they feel about each other, even this soon. 

Gently, she runs a finger along Ingrid’s panties, tries not to choke on air when she feels a telltale dampness already there.  _ Did she do that? Did she get Ingrid this wet, this fast? _ “Please, Eva,” she begs, bucking her hips. “Don’t tease.”

Eva hooks her fingers in the waistband of Ingrid’s underwear. “Is this okay? Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yes, I’m 100% sure. Are you?”

“Yes,” Eva breathes, and then slowly, ever so fucking slowly, works the panties down Ingrid’s thighs, and then pulls them off altogether. Ingrid spreads her legs on her own accord, leaving herself vulnerable to Eva, and it’s the most honored and trusted Eva’s ever felt. She wants to do this right. Ingrid deserves that. 

She takes a deep breath, and then leans down to lick experimentally over the wetness. It doesn’t taste good, but she doesn’t recoil, because the sound Ingrid makes is  _ pornographic _ . Eva licks her clit this time, full on, and Ingrid moans even louder. She takes a second to build up her confidence, takes another deep breath, and then places her lips over Ingrid’s clit, and  _ sucks _ . 

Ingrid’s thighs close instantly, trapping Eva’s head where it is. Eva doesn’t mind, just keeps sucking and licking and sucking and licking, turning her head from side to side on the broad strokes and nodding her head up and down on the tight ones. Ingrid is a moaning, writhing mess, fisting the sheets and sobbing with pleasure and begging Eva for more, more, more. All Eva wants to do is give. 

She moves her hand below her chin, sinking one finger into Ingrid. They haven’t been going for very long, but after a few pumps of her finger and a particularly hard suck on her clit, Ingrid’s thighs clamp together on Eva’s head and she practically screams Eva’s name as she comes. Eva’s never felt more accomplished by anything in her life, and she’s convinced that nothing will ever sound as good as the most gorgeous woman in the world saying her name in the midst of euphoria. 

_ Yeah,  _ she thinks to herself,  _ I did that. _

Slowly, once Ingrid’s calmed down, Eva crawls up to lay next to her. She pulls Ingrid into her arms and then pulls the duvet over them, smoothing her clean hand across Ingrid’s back. She needs to wash her hands, and her face, but for now, she’s not worried about. Right now, she’s focused on making sure Ingrid feels nothing but bliss. 

“I’m s-sorry I came so quickly,” Ingrid whispers, but Eva just shushes her, because aside from the fact that no one should ever shame anyone for being quick to the draw, it’s also insanely flattering. “I’ve never...I’ve never done that before. Or, I mean, I’ve never had that done to me before.”

“You’ve never had sex? Oral or otherwise?”

Ingrid shakes her head, “Nope. I’m glad you were my first, though.” Her eyes widen as she appears to remember something, and then Eva feels shaky fingers in between her legs. “What about you?”

“You don’t have to. We can just cuddle.”

“I want to,” Ingrid insists, and Eva, who’s laying on her side, props her one leg up. Ingrid pulls Eva’s panties to the side and the first brush of a fingertip against Eva’s clit makes her shudder. “Feel good?”

Eva nods, resisting the urge to grab Ingrid’s hand and guide it to where she wants it. “Yes,” she manages, her breath heavy. “Fuck…”

Ingrid rubs Eva’s clit in slow circles, and Eva screws her eyes shut. Having someone else get you off feels so much better than masturbating, even if it’s basically the same thing. She whines when Ingrid pulls her fingers away, but the whine quickly turns into a moan when she feels Ingrid pressing her thigh against Eva. 

Immediately, Eva starts grinding against Ingrid’s thigh. The angle makes it a bit difficult to move, but allows for amazing pressure, and all Eva needs to do is circle her hips in small (but quick) figure eights to get close. “Fuck, I’m so close, I’m gonna come,” she moans, reaching out to grab Ingrid’s bicep. Ingrid crowds in, presses her lips to Eva’s cheek. 

“Come,” she encourages, and Eva does, her hips bucking wildly against the warm (and now wet) skin of Ingrid’s thigh as she works herself through it. It’s the hardest she’s come in a long time, possibly ever. 

Somewhere in the middle of it, her panties had slid back into place, and they were now uncomfortably sticky, so she takes them off and throws them aside. Ingrid just laughs, pulling Eva in for proper cuddles, both of them flushed, sweaty, and giggling beyond control. 

**###**

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Ingrid whispers, and Eva traces her cheek, feeling the warmth under the pink of them. She wonders if she’s just hot from having sex, or if she’s blushing. “Like I’ve known you my whole life, somehow, and it’s like we’ve just found our way back to each other after being apart for so long. Is that cliché?”

Eva smiles, nodding a bit, and brushing their noses together. “A bit cliché, yeah,” she whispers. “But that’s okay. I like cliché. And besides, I agree with you. When I met you, it felt like I remembered you from somewhere. I don’t think you’re the type of person I could ever forget.”

“So don’t forget me,” Ingrid whispers, and Eva seals the promise with a kiss. 

 

***

 

The next morning, on her walk back to Isak’s, Eva can’t stop smiling. She’s still sated and sex-dumb (although that might have something to do with the morning sex she’d had this morning— _ twice _ ), and she knows she has the post-orgasm glow, a tell to anyone who sees her.

Part of her expects to walk in on Isak and Even having morning sex, maybe it’s just her mentality stuck in the gutter, but when she walks in, it’s to Even eating breakfast and Isak sitting in bed doing homework. It’s so domestic that Eva’s heart warms, and then instantly imagines her and Ingrid doing that, one day, when they live together. God, she can’t wait until they live together. 

_ I think I’m in love with her. Is it possible to be in love after the first date? _

“I can say one thing for fucking sure,” Eva announces, shutting the front door and leaning against it, absolutely positive that her face is covered with sappy, dreamy, love-drunk expressions. “I definitely did  _ not _ sleep with Ingrid that night. I would remember that.”

Even smiles from his place at the table. “I’m glad to hear your date went so well! You look about like I did after I slept with Isak for the first time.”

“Did you love Isak after the first date? I think I love Ingrid.”

“Eva,” Even says seriously, “I loved Isak from the first moment I saw him.”

“God, relatable. Except for Ingrid, not Isak.”

“Hey!” Isak protests. Eva just smiles and blows him a kiss. “I’m also glad your date went well, though. Did you ask her about Sara?”

Eva scrunches her eyebrows together, taking off her shoes and then walking further into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Sara? Why would I talk to her about Sara?” She asks, and Isak gives her a look, which makes Eva remember. “Oh, shit! No, I totally forgot. Shit. Well, if I slept with Sara, I’m sure Ingrid would’ve told me, and she wouldn’t have slept with me. She’s too nice for something like that. So I say we cross Sara off the list, too.”

“That leaves Vilde,” Isak says, almost reluctantly. 

“Yep,” Eva grins. “Let me just go take a shower and then we can go talk to her. I can’t wait to see Dandelion again! I love that cat.” She grins and squeals and giggles and does all of the stereotypical happy girl things, skipping off to the shower. 

Less than an hour later, they’re stood in front of Vilde’s door. Isak looks uncomfortable, while Vilde, who’d just been asked  _ Did we sleep together?  _ is staring at Eva like she’s crazy. 

“Um, this is a bad time,” she says slowly, and Eva raises her eyebrows. “My mum’s hosting a wine party, and I have to get back. But we can talk later, okay?” She glances over at Isak, who looks more and more uncomfortable by the second. 

Eva turns to Isak. “I guess we can come back later, right?”

“Yeah,” Isak agrees, before wincing and shaking his head. “I mean...no. No. It’s not her, Eva. You didn’t sleep with her.”

“What?”

“She wasn’t at the party,” Isak continues, and Eva is fucking lost at this point.

Vilde shakes her head, catching Eva’s attention. She looks upset, and Eva is so fucking lost. This is more complicated than she’d originally thought, apparently. “Isak, please,” she whispers, her voice shaky. 

“I thought she was,” Isak continues, “but she wasn’t. Her mum was hosting a wine tasting party that night, too.” He glances up at her, and something about the way they look at each other tells Eva that they’re lying, but she shouldn’t ask, either. “She wasn’t there. It wasn’t her.”

Slowly, Eva nods. “Okay,” she agrees, glancing at Vilde. Vilde gives her an apologetic, yet grateful, smile. “I’m sorry to bother you, Vilde. Have fun at your wine tasting party.”

“Thank you. I hope you find your girl,” she whispers, and then slowly goes back in. 

Eva knows there’s no wine tasting party. She knows that there’s another reason Vilde wasn’t at the party, suspects it has something to do with her mum. She won’t ask, it’s none of her business. But she hopes Vilde knows she’s not alone. 

When they make it back to Isak’s, Even has a plate set for Eva. She thanks him quietly and then sits to eat, waiting for Isak to speak first. 

And he does, she doesn’t have to wait long. “I’m sorry it wasn’t her,” Isak says, quietly, and Eva just smiles. She almost doesn’t care anymore. She has Ingrid now, a girl who makes her so happy, the happiest she’s ever been. She doesn’t need anyone else. Sure, she came here looking for the girl she slept with, but so what if she didn’t find her? She found something better. 

“It’s okay,” Eva assures him, holding an arm up. Isak walks over and accepts the side hug, even from the awkward angle with Eva sitting and Isak standing. “I’ve never been as happy as I was with Ingrid last night. That’s everything to me. It sucks that we’ve hit a dead end, but.. I think I’ll be okay.” 

Even opens his mouth to say something, when suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. He gets up to go get it, and mere moments later, Eva finds herself facing Iben. 

“Iben?” She asks, standing up. Iben smiles nervously, fiddling with her fingers and deliberately not meeting Eva’s eyes. “Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

Iben sighs, dropping her hands by her sides and looking up. “Eva… I know what happened at the party,” she admits, and the air in the room goes still. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited


	7. seven

All four of them cram themselves around Isak and Even’s tiny excuse for a kitchen table, tea cradled in their hands, all gazes on Iben. Iben keeps swirling her tea with her spoon, the clinking of the silverware against the ceramic the only sound in the room. Eva doesn’t want to push the issue, seem ridiculous about it—but also, she wants to know, and she’s tired of waiting.

“So,” Iben begins after a long, long moment, “you know how I told you that I saw you go upstairs with a blonde girl after you left the bathroom?” Eva nods, and Iben sigh, pursing her lips for a second. “I lied.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s complicated, and I’ll explain that part, I swear. I didn’t lie about finding you in the bathroom. That part was true. Mari and I really did help you. But I didn’t go looking for Isak. I didn’t even know, at that point, that you knew Isak. I didn’t know who you were. But I remembered seeing you play beer pong with Even, so I went to find him. I didn’t know him, either, but I remembered what he looked like. So I found him sitting on the couch watching some boys singing Disney songs for some karaoke game, and I asked if he knew you, and if he could take care of you.”

 

_“We have to find someone she knows,” Iben sighed as she watched Mari hold the girl’s hair back, smoothing circles on her back. “I saw her playing beer pong with that guy earlier, maybe they’re friends.”_

_Mari gave her a look. “You want to leave a wasted girl with a guy? Really smart idea, babe.”_

_“He has a boyfriend! Noora’s friend, the one who’s hosting the party? They’re dating. I can’t remember his name for the life of me, though.”_

_The girl sat back on her thighs, and looked up at Iben, vomit on her chin. Mari reached to get some toilet paper and help her clean up, and then gave her a mint from her purse. “She’s a mess, Iben. She needs to go home.” Mari tucked the girl’s hair back again, grabbed the hair tie off of her wrist to put it in a ponytail. The girl just happily hummed, sucking on the mint. “Look at her, she’s wasted.”_

_“That’s what I’m saying. We need to find someone who can take her home.” She stepped forward, kneeled next to Eva, and put a hand on her arm. “Are you feeling better now? Do you want to go find your friend?” Eva just nodded enthusiastically, and started trying to stand. Iben and Mari helped her up and walked her out of the bathroom, looking around for Even._

_They found him after a bit of searching, sitting on the couch and nursing a solo cup as the boys around him sang I Just Can’t Wait To Be King into fake microphones. Eva practically flopped down next to him as the three girls approached, but the boy hardly seemed bothered. Iben took that as confirmation that they were friends._

_She stepped forward, leaned in so the boy could hear her. “She’s been throwing up in the bathroom, and we figured she needs to go home. Are you a friend of hers?”_

_The boy nodded. “Yeah, she’s the girl that Isak and I threw this party for. I’ll be sure to get her home safely. Thank you so much for taking care of her, um…”_

_”Iben,” she filled in, and he nodded, smiled. Iben patted Eva’s knee gently and then stepped back, went back to the bathroom with Mari to clean the mess that Eva had left. “See? No problem.”_

 

Even nods, slowly. “I remember that,” he admits, his voice slow, almost hesitant. Isak and Eva look at him once, but he resolutely doesn’t look back at them. 

“You know something,” Isak accuses, and Even squirms a little. “Oh, my God. You’ve known something this whole time and haven’t told Eva? Or me? What the fuck? What do you know?”

“Isak, I—”

“What do you know?” Eva interrupts, voice sharp. She’s fucking fuming. “You’ve watched me agonize over this for fucking days, Even, so what the fuck were you hiding?”

“Let me tell the story,” Iben steps in, and Isak and Eva immediately snap back to her. “There’s a lot more to the story that I haven’t gotten to yet. Everything will make sense when I tell the story, okay? So, please, just let me finish.” She sips her tea, long and slow. Eva can’t help but think of the irony, and closes her fist around the handle of her own tea cup.

Isak gives in, waving with his hands to urge her to continue. “By all means,” he grits out, “please continue and explain to me what, exactly, my boyfriend has been keeping from me.”

Iben nods once, quickly. “Right. So, okay, Mari and I finish cleaning the bathroom, right? And we’re getting ready to go home, because despite the vomit, we still kind of want to… Anyways, so we’re getting ready to leave, and Even runs up to us, holding your wrist, and holding some other girl’s wrist. You’re just kinda trailing behind him like a puppy, it was kind of cute. So, um, he says that he’s trying to get you home, but he can’t find Isak. So he asks if we can watch you, for just a little longer.”

 

_“Please, just for a little bit,” Even continued, but Iben had already known she was going to agree. “I can’t find my fucking boyfriend. And I’m sorry I’m kind of sticking you with two drunk girls, but Eva won’t stop making out with this one, and she cried when I tried to separate them.”_

_“It’s not a big deal,” Mari insisted, before Iben could. “I’d rather watch two drunk girls than refuse to and put them at risk of getting taken advantage of. Go find your boyfriend, we’ll take care of them until you do.”_

_Even smiled, passed Eva and the other girl off to them. “Thank you so much, I owe you one.” He’d taken off into the crowd then, eyes searching the room wildly._

_“I’m tired,” Eva whined, then, slumping against Iben’s shoulder. Iben almost fell over from the weight of Eva, but quickly recuperated, and held her up. “Take me to bed, Iben. I want to go to bed.”_

_“You’re going to go to bed soon, Eva. Just as soon as Even comes back with Isak, you’re going to go home and go to bed.”_

_Eva stomped her foot. “I want to go to bed now! I wanna take a nap!”_

_“I wanna take a nap, too,” the other drunk girl decided, taking hold of Iben’s free hand. “We want a nap please.”_

_“See? Ingrid and I want a nap,” Eva reasoned, and Iben shot a glance on Mari, who just shrugged back at her._

_“Fine. A nap it is.” She looked at Mari._ “ _Go tell Even I’m taking them upstairs, and he can come get them whenever he finds Isak. At least, this way, they won’t run off somewhere else.” While Mari went off to deliver the message, Iben took them upstairs, tucking into the first bed in the first bedroom she found._

_Both girls cuddled into the blankets, wrapped up around each other. Iben sighed and stepped out into the hall until Mari came back and confirmed that Even knew where to find them. They shut the door and then sat in the hall, just to make sure no boys went in to find two drunk girls passed out._

 

Eva can’t stop the smile that crosses her face. “Oh, my God. So it was Ingrid that I was flirting with all night,” she realizes, and she smiles harder when Isak squeezes her hand in support. “I can’t believe this. But, hey, wait. Ingrid told me she’s a virgin. It can’t be her that I slept with.”

Iben laughs, but it’s humorless. “You might want to talk to Even about this part of the story.

All gazes go to Even, who looks increasingly uncomfortable. Eva can practically feel the anger vibrating off of Isak, and honestly, she relates. She’s never felt this angry towards Even before now.

“Okay, so I found Isak outside, smoking with Jonas. I was worried about him being crossfaded but he said he hadn’t drank much, so I just asked him to stay outside until I came back with you, Eva. So I went inside and went upstairs and found Mari and Iben in the hall outside of the bedroom. They told me you were in there, so I went in, and saw way more than I ever wanted to see.”

 

_Even stepped back inside, and immediately headed for the stairs. With Eva as drunk as she was and Isak getting crossfaded, he knew he needed to get them both home—neither of them knew their limits. Thank god he’d only been drinking water all night, otherwise they all would’ve been fucked._

_He took the stairs two at a time until he reached the top, finding Mari and Iben on the floor. “Hey, thanks again for watching them.” He pointed to the closed door in front of them. “Is Eva in there?”_

_Iben nodded. “Yep. She and Ingrid insisted on taking a nap, so we put them to bed.” Even rolled his eyes and both girls just laughed. “I mean, at least they’re sleeping instead of doing the countless other things drunk girls like to do.”_

_“That’s true,” Even agreed, and grabbed the door handle. “Thanks again, anyway.”_

_When the door opened, it was to a pitch black room. He reached to flip the switch on and then looked across the room again—only to find Eva half naked with Ingrid between her legs. He quickly turned the light back off and stepped out of the room, and slammed the door behind him._

_“What?” Mari asked, climbing to her feet._

_Even wiped at his eyes, as if that would clear his brain of the memory. “Let’s just say we should probably put a sock on that door handle.”_

 

“So she lied,” Eva concludes.

“Not necessarily,” Iben suggests. “She was just as drunk as you, there’s a chance she just forgot. Or, if you didn’t go any farther, then she may consider herself still a virgin, since she never got fucked. You were way too drunk to return the favor, that’s for damn sure. I’m amazed that she could.”

Even shudders. “Believe me, she did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Eva asks him.

“Because I told him not to,” Iben says. Eva turns back to her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’ve known Ingrid since high school. I knew she was struggling to come out of the closet when I knew her, and I wasn’t sure if she was out yet. I didn’t want anyone to say anything and potentially out her. That’s why I lied to you about seeing you go upstairs with a blonde. So, today, when I found out from Mari, who’s friends with Noora, who found out from Vilde—it’s a long chain, I know—that you and Ingrid were together, I figured she was out and that it was now okay to tell you. And I am.”

Isak clears his throat, and all eyes go to him. “I was outed in high school, and it sucked. So I think you and Even made the right decision, to not tell anyone. It wouldn’t be fair to Ingrid to out her just because Eva wants to know.”

Eva nods slowly. “Yeah, I agree.” And with those simple three words, both Even and Iben deflate, like they’d been holding their breath and preparing for The Wrath Of Eva Mohn. “So, what happened after that?”

Iben shrugs. “I don’t know, really. Mari and I slept outside to make sure no one went into the room, and Even got Isak home safely. In the morning, Ingrid woke up first, so we called Even to come get you. Mari took Ingrid home and I stayed until Even came, and then he took you home after you woke up, I guess.”

“So… Ingrid doesn’t remember any of it, either?” Isak asks, and Eva shrugs.

“If she does, she hasn’t said anything. She kind of seemed as though she didn’t.” Eva thinks of the morning they first met, the day they shared coffee with Vilde. “Her and Sara were acting really weird, though. Like Sara kept telling me not to think about it and Ingrid kind of seemed like she didn’t want Sara saying anything about it. If she remembered, surely she’d tell Sara, right? They’re best friends. So maybe they both knew, but Ingrid—for some reason—didn’t want to tell me, so that’s why she was trying to shut Sara up.”

Everyone seems to contemplate it for a moment as silence falls over the room. Even is the first to speak up. “It makes sense,” he admits. “I just don’t see why she wouldn’t want you to know. Maybe she was just scared of rejection, or something. Like maybe she didn’t want you to be disappointed when you found out it was her.”

“Disappointed?” Eva laughs in disbelief. “As if I could ever be disappointed.”

“Maybe she saw you with Vilde that morning and thought that you two were into each other,” Isak offers.

Iben nods, “That’s a possibility. If I was going to tell a girl I liked her, it would certainly put me off to see her flirting with someone else.” She reaches over to touch Eva’s hand, where it’s still holding the tea cup in a death grip. “The only way you’re going to find out the details on that part of the story is if you ask Ingrid herself, though.”

“She’s right,” Even agrees, but Eva groans. Talking to people is not her strong suit. “Eva, this is your girlfriend. You have to learn to communicate with her.”

“Fine,” Eva sighs, quite dramatically, pushing herself out of her seat. “Wish me luck, I guess. If I don’t come home tonight you know it went well.” She kisses Even and Isak’s cheeks, and then moves to hug Iben. “Thank you for telling me everything. It means a lot to me. And I promise there’s no hard feelings, okay?” Iben nods and hugs her back, and then Eva’s putting on her shoes and slipping out the door, texting Ingrid to meet her at Uranienborgparken.

They meet there approximately half an hour later, sitting side by side on a bench, facing ahead of them. It’s like Ingrid can sense the weird tension between them now, and Eva hates that it’s there, but she also knows there’s nothing they can do to get rid of it except find out the truth.

“I talked to Iben earlier,” she admits, and she can practically feel Ingrid stiffen. The sky is darkening slowly, but still enough for Eva to notice, and she really, really hopes it isn’t symbolic. “She told me what happened at that party that summer. That you and I were in bed together, that Even walked in on us doing stuff, and that you were the first to wake up in the morning. But you told me that you didn’t know what happened that night, and you also told me last night that you’re a virgin. So I need to know the truth and I need to know it now.”

“That is the truth,” Ingrid murmurs, and Eva sighs heavily. She should’ve known it was going to go this way. “It is! I don’t remember the night of the party, Eva, I really don’t.”

Eva turns to her, fire in her blood and in her eyes and in her heart. “But surely you figured it out when you literally woke up with me the next morning. Someone comes back to Oslo and says they slept with someone at a party but they don’t remember who, and you remember waking up next to that person the day after the aforementioned party? Come on, Ingrid, we both know you’re not that naïve. So be honest, and tell me why the hell you didn’t tell me.”

“Because I was scared,” she admits. “I really didn’t remember sleeping with you. I thought we just literally slept next to each other. When you came back with the story of sleeping with someone that night, I figured it was me. But you didn’t recognize me, and you kept giving Vilde these eyes, and I was so scared that if I told you it might’ve been me that you wouldn’t want me. So I kept it to myself. I’m sorry, Eva, I never meant to hurt you by it.”

“And what about after you and I went out? After we had sex?”

“It was too late to fess up at that point.”

Eva scoffs, shaking her head and looking away. She feels Ingrid reach for her, try to lace their fingers together, so she pulls her hand in her lap. Maybe she’s overreacting, whatever, but she really doesn’t like being lied to. Especially when Ingrid knew how she was tearing herself apart over it and she still kept her mouth shut.

“Eva, please,” she begs. “You have to see my side of it. I didn’t want to give myself false hope. I was going to tell you, eventually, but I didn’t want to fuck this up when it was only just starting. I may have forgotten that we had sex, but I definitely didn’t forget you. I’ve thought about you almost everyday for the past year and I was so excited that you were back and you liked me and I didn’t want to fuck that up. I’m sorry, Eva, I really am.”

“I do see your side of it. I understand,” Eva reassures. “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You still lied to me, multiple times.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Eva. I don’t know what else to say.”

Eva sits quietly for a moment, and then shakes her head. “You don’t have to say anything else.” She turns back to Ingrid, and her heart practically breaks at how sad Ingrid looks, like she’s preparing for a breakup. “I forgive you. I know why you lied and it’s.. it will be okay. It shouldn’t a big deal.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah,” Eva nods. “We ended up together, right? It would’ve been the outcome whether I knew or not, and honestly, that’s all that matters to me. So I’m not mad. Or, well, I’m working on not being mad. I’ll get there.”

Ingrid practically throws herself at Eva, wrapping her arms around Eva’s neck and squeezing her tightly. Eva laughs, hugging Ingrid back just as tightly. Eva’s never felt so loved before, like a weight is lifted off of her chest and her shoulders, now that she has someone to help her carry it. It’s the best feeling in the world.

“Of everyone it could’ve been, I’m glad it was you,” Eva murmurs into Ingrid’s shoulder, into the fabric of her cashmere sweater. She smells like gingerbread, even though it’s the middle of spring.

Ingrid laughs, pulling back and kissing Eva long and hard. “I’m glad it was me, too,” she nods. “It’s always been you.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @femmevilde !!


End file.
